Finding Joy in the Present: Why I Stopped Chasing Arrival

I spent most of my life chasing the next thing, believing that happiness was waiting at the next milestone. But what I didn’t realize was that finding joy in the present would end up being the most surprising—and healing—part of my journey.

For most of my life, I was chasing the next thing.

• The next job
• The next relationship milestone
• The next version of myself that would finally feel like enough

I didn’t see it as a problem. I thought I was just driven. Motivated. Ambitious. But underneath that ambition was a quiet belief: “When I get there, I’ll be happy.”

I told myself this story on repeat:

• When I land the pharmaceutical job
• When we get married
• When the baby sleeps through the night
• When we pay off the debt
• When I go viral

And guess what? I got there. I achieved all of it.

But what was still missing?

Let’s be clear. I’ve had incredible success:

• I’ve been featured in major publications
• I published a book
• I went viral on TikTok
• I built a thriving coaching business
• I created a beautiful life I’m deeply grateful for

And yet… something still tugged at me: “This isn’t it.” That may sound ungrateful. But it’s not—it’s honest. Because the joy I was chasing never lived at the finish line. It lives somewhere else entirely.

A feeling I’ll never forget

I think back to my very first job out of college. I was 22, broke, and clueless. I took a sales job at a cell phone company simply because I needed a paycheck.

Back then, texting plans came in packs of 50. My dad and I used to text “hi” just because we could. I was young and scrappy—no vision board, no five-year plan. Then, one day, my boss called me and said something I’ll never forget: “You won. You’re the number one sales rep in the country.”

I had no idea there was even a ranking. I didn’t know an award existed. I was flown to Las Vegas, stayed at Mandalay Bay, walked across a big stage, and felt this overwhelming sense of awe. And here’s the part that gets me: That’s the last time I remember feeling pure joy from an achievement.

Why? Because I wasn’t trying to win. I wasn’t measuring my worth. I was just doing my thing. Since then, I’ve spent years climbing levels. With every milestone, I kept thinking…This one will finally be enough. But it never really was.

Even Olympic gold medalist Michael Phelps once said: “I thought the gold medal would fix everything. But once I got it, I was like…now what?” So many of us live inside that same question: Now what?

Now that you’ve achieved.
Now that you’ve healed.
Now that you’ve gone viral.
Now that you’ve been seen.

Now what?

The truth is, finding joy in the present

Which means noticing the moments we often overlook.

Joy was never hiding in the milestone. It was always tucked inside the mundane.

• In the quiet mornings with your coffee
• In the text from your dad that just says “hi”
• In the moments where you forget to perform
• In the part of you that exists without needing to prove a thing

Healing is deceptive

Because the deeper you go, the more you realize there’s no finish line. There’s only more truth. More presence. More shedding of the noise.

And maybe that’s the actual win:

• Not chasing the goal
• Not earning joy
• Not believing wholeness lives “out there”

Because maybe, just maybe…the wholeness is already here. In the life we weren’t even paying attention to.

Final Thoughts: The Only Race I Want to Win

These days, I don’t want to strive to be the best. I want to be present enough to see the joy in what is. The version of me who isn’t being ranked. The life where I already have what I was looking for.

I’m no longer chasing the gold medal. I’m just focused on finding joy in the present—right here, where life is already happening. That’s the only race I want to win now. The one where I didn’t even know I was competing.

If you’re learning how to stop chasing arrival, I’d love to walk with you. Fill out this form to get in contact with me.

– Molly Rubesh